Also this puppy is a Pitbull and my partner knows Im scared of these types of dogs. This whole allergy thing started out when his parents looked after our cat during a month-long overseas trip we took when a friend of mine could no longer live up to her commitment in the last minute. Now I know and say that I will never date someone who is obsessed with their pet ever again. The dogs anal glade burst on my pillow, she pees all over the place, brings ticks and dander into the home and my wife does not see this as a concern to our newborn. I feel trapped in my own home, every evening and weekend I find myself hiding in my room while he cuddles his dog. Of course we spoiled the crud out of them too. Oh when I was gone for those two weeks I guess he left the dog outside when he went to work and she ended up chewing the door frame :\ its like she HAS toys out there why would she want to chew on the house!! And ruin the home. Im not sure what to do at this point, most angry pet owners will just say to leAve or end it. I lied to my spouse that I was crying for another reason so another dog fight did not occur. Oh yes and car crazy will jump through windows to get in a car to make it stink, cover it in hair and rub its arse on a seat that I am meant to sit on. I want to focus on our marriage and we want to travel together, I moved to the US for him, so we want to visit my home country regularly and also visit other places. Because that shows me how much more the cat means to him than I do. I am now the one who is having to deal with picking up after the dog as my husband does not even take the animal for a walk, to the groomer, etc. It is one of the excellent ways to keep your dog mentally stimulated throughout the day, making a well-behaved dog. The problem is that we live on the noisiest corner of our city because of the traffic and it can get a little stressful. I feel bad for having these feeling and I feel awkward telling my friends about it because it seems so petty but its not. He works on his own time and has more than enough time and energy to take care of her properly. He says its all shes known her whe life and so now Im just mad at them both all the time. Except I had the Siberian Husky, who showers regularly and smell great. I am more upset with him that he refuses to set boundaries for her. Humans cannot birth dogs. Regardless, if the pet needs medical help, rather it be meds in the ear, whatever, how can you like yourself knowing that something, a living thing is suffering and all you can worry about is I dont like dogs and someone else should do it. Cat/dog hair comes with having cats/dogs. I wish you all the best and will be sendin prayers your way! I have never felt so upset towards an animal. I never knew that I would ever feel about animals because like i said, I have always loved animals and had animals growing up and took great care of them. With all due respect your familys safety is a million times more important than having to live with the odd discord of fitting in a hyper ear piercing farm animal that is unpredictably unsafe into your family home. Im just mad. Sleepless, And also, you might want to checking out some good books on marriage and relationships. Sowe bought a house together & moved in. Theyre not his companion: you are. Years ago I had a niece who got some sort of virus infection on her nose that the doctor said was from her dog. Refuse to have them? Perhaps its time to move on in your life. Change in environment. But not go above the line. Obedience training is expensive and she doesnt have the money and its not my responsibility to pay for it . I compromise on everything because of him and he never even bothers to understand me. I accidentally stepped on her foot and caught myself (minimal impact). He usually tells me, he cant disipline the THING because it can get sick and DIE.seriously? Its not about choosing a dog over someone, its about being too different. He still lived with his family. (unless you count liking to lick me a bad habit) She LOVES to hike in the arroyos and hills, is very friendly and outgoing, plays games w me like fetch and keep away and plays with her squeakiesshe never chews cords like the previous ownets said and she did once w me . I cant believe we are having problems over a dog :(. Once you figure that out the fight wont exist. I have recently been given an ultimatum to give up him or the dogs. He cuddles with Fido on the couch every night, while Im on a separate chair. Going to dog training as a couple (although the dog owner should pay for it, lol) is a priceless experience and will change your life. You act as If showing him boundaries is equal to starvation. I read about training and raw food and Chihuahuas themselves. Hope you found this helpful. Different breeds were actually bred for different reasons, and its funny because hardly any pet owner actually harnesses that energy and trains their dog what they are bred to do, especially terrier or bully breeds. I hate when the dog gets up because hair just flys off of her. !! Correct his mindset: As a wife/girlfriend, you should be able to correct his mindset. The man obviously has a very dysfunctional relationship with his dog. I treat the cat better than him(see above). I am an animal lover of all kinds. Far too often. The dog will poo and pee, I refuse to live like that. Yeah plenty of men like well behaved dogs that arent trained by women who worship the dog like ot walks on water. IT wants all of his attention all the time. i cannot stand this animal. So, I will be checking what pets new people have in the future. Im tired of being told wait till you have kids. If you attempt to put him another room, he will whine and cry until let out. Any helpful advice please? Even said we should sleep separate! They are given boundaries and structure. A dog can never give you what a baby can and people annoy the crap out of me when they say this. He said if he stayed up to watch TV, the dog would bark at him to come to bed. Many people just dont like that. The dog sticks up everything, no matter how many times you groom him. I could no longer stand the way my husband brought down her spirit. This is not a new situation but was the same as when we met. Its just sick sick sick!!! Save yourself while you still can. And a marriage. My girlfriend forgot she didnt have eggs, and we were short on time because we had to go to her cousins house for a party. He gets ten days leave when the baby is born. She also sniffs constantly. Give them there own bed!!! Your householders have allergies to dogs. He doesnt say snide comments to his dog. I just dont know what to do. It blows my mind how many people dump their pets for a bad relationship. It makes me sick when I read all you haters comments. I feel trapped in my own home, every evening and weekend I find myself hiding in my room while he cuddles his dog because I dont want to start another dog fight because it never goes anywhere. He has shows aggressiveness to me before as well. First, to answer your question. its her baby and thats how theyve always been. I feel like we live in a prison with these dogs, and Im a 4th class citizen under him and 2 dogs. Animals are pets, not people, and shouldnt be allowed to run the household. I uprooted to move all the way to a small middle eastern country leaving all that i cherished ( career,family,friends) behind and was shocked to find my husbands cat coming along. I also find myself sleeping alone every night while the dog sleeps with him. I am in a very stressful relationship where I love both my dog and partner. She didnt beg or whine constantly. I asked dont you care about my feelings & apparently in this issue he doesnt. So he has the entire morning to do this, but he "struggles to wake up". Im trying to work things out but he ignores me. )this dog is awful! Constant rubbing and petting, an overly desperate needy animal. I left my marriage over the dog being his first thought, his first everything along with being stepped on with his snide comments and put downs. Id like to post a general question to the audience concerning the health of dogs and their owners. The point is: he has no symptoms of allergy, no sneezing or running nose, has taken a test that came out negative, but yet he insists that his back pain is a different kind of allergic reaction and thats why the cat has to go. I know this dog means the world to my husband and has helped him get through tough times before he met me. He never does it when someone is in the house so we rarely catch him doing it. My boyfriend acts like the dog is more than our baby at times. I know my boyfriend still has some growing up to do, but Im tired of being miserable in this situation. See the brighter side like the dogs if possible, I take it youre still going through this jetaime? Luckily, for the past months has hasnt mentioned too much about them and things are going better between us thankfully. People like you are IMPORTANT in this world. All was discussed prior and she promised all sorts of things regarding there keep, like no begging, toilet training walking etc. I know hes not an animal person and that I cant change that on him so Im really having a hard time with this and dont know what to do. I love animals and would have more if I could but three is my limit for time and budget. So I guess you believe that marriage was also developed by the patriarchy to get people to submit then too? Im also making a change myself and I told him that he needs to be patient and let us both adapt but his negativity is really starting too exceed the limits of my patience. Your bf has anthropomorphized the animals into his lover. We wanted to provide links to some resources that may be relevant to you here. Animals arent playthings who can be discarded when the novelty wears off. I have been married for over a year and living with my hubby for over 3 years. I cant stand the cat. For the first 6 months my partner did not mind her sharing the bed. Never a problem. Shes sometimes peeing in the bed or pooping on the floor even tho she was outside but I always told myself her behavior is like that because of her negative past. His dog is driving me so crazy I feel like Im going to have a stroke. What we view there is mostly Just fantasy. I just want to be free from this and not have to deal anymore. The day I received an ultimatum about my dogs is the day my SO would be hitting the road. She sounds like my husband as far as not really caring about your feelings. Anyway, fast forward to this last girlfriend. Today had an argument with my husband about his dog. Anybody who tries to force someone to get rid of their dog is either a selfish idiot or a narcissist and we all know that you dont want any part of that crazy rollercoaster of a life. I had an idea of how things would be in my first home and they arent. I cant get the thought out of my head that he got to keep his and i didnt and mine died. Your husband/boyfriend may want to rehome the dog because of Allergies. First thing is her need to feed the dog everything shes eating to be point where its expected! I understand. let me tell you it is a massive pet peeve of mine when people want to compare a human baby to that of an animal. When they aggressively beg and whine for food and its talking. We once hired a dog-sitter who said shed never sit for them again because their list of needs is so extensive. You are just as temporary as the dog no matter how well you would like to admit it. She spends no time outside so she sheds everywhere! i feel so hurt when this happens that this animal is more respected than i am. I have told him that is her safety zone and she will come out when she needs to go out, you cant force her. the dual personality of the terrier really made the situation worse to the point of being a barking biting alpha dog. potty break schedule. Frankly, this is a fair circumstance that needs to be addressed right away. They would constantly try to seek attention when we cuddle together, follow us everywhere and constantly be in the way. I figure, once he manages to force me to let the dogs die of broken hearts, neglected and alone out in the backyard, then hell then start on his cats liking me more than him, so I dont love him, etc. I have mild allergies so she irritates my nose when in close proximity not to mention I think a dog in bed is so unsanitary. I also have allergies so Ive always had the rule that no pets in bed and no dogs on any furniture. Instead, they are treated like humans and encouraged to develop unhealthy attachments to the owner. So I would encourage you to stand firm now before you get too emotionally involved with him. after a completely unprovoked barking and near biting episode her human said she just loves me and wants to make sure she protects me. Hello Lex, I dont think a dog should snarl or growl at anyone, much less one of his masters. He expected my cats locked up so his dog could take over my home. Everyone has to put up with your dog but godforbid they talk out against it. She has told me and her parents that she feels the same way. Last nite she made the comment to a friend who was here that it was my life and thats how I choose to live it and she cant do anything about it,. Its time for you to put your foot down with you bf. Instead, what you have to do is that identify what influences this disagreeable behavior. You deserve a normal relationship just like anybody else but it is obvious that your not going to find it there. Dogs need to learn whos alpha in order for them to recieve any kind of gratitude from me. Dogs behave the way we TRAIN them to behave. Youll have to invest in Fabreeze! He complains about the sounds it makes (eg when chewing a bone) or when he hears us speaking to it. They dont have to compromise with their dog so the dog replaces a lot of relationships in a lot of scenarios. My marriage is ending after 4 years. I actually feel with time, I will pity the man in the end. When I get home from work, it literally feels like I am being pummeled in all directions because the dogs are jumping on me, barking, practically bouncing off the walls with crazed excitement. currently, she sleeps in the bed with her, is very very clingy, moans if there is no constant attention and very manipulative. I lived with being blamed for things I didnt do, snide remarks, one upmanship contests. Well I feel the same as a lot of comments here reflect. Even after surgeries I have had, he has refused to take the dog out and I would have to with me barely able to move. I sit there trying to enjoy dinner while watching her dog on the couch hovering over her plate! I still get to see him occasionally & even get to keep him when they go on vacation. Sometimes you cant have it all. Now, let us go back nine years in time. The problem is that people who love dogs can not fathom why there are people who dont like them. Hed spend hours touching the animal while I didnt receive any physical touch. He began to cry immediately and it woke my girlfriend up and she yelled at me. Every command is met with the resistance of a spoiled child. Ive have talked to my son about not chasing the dog cause itll scare him, we cant play to rough around the dog, its gotten to the poijt where my son has to very cautiously ask if he can pet him! Enough to break the marriage? So, since my Chihuahua was the only one fully house trained & shes such a good dog, we agreed that we would keep her, but the other 2 dogs would need to find new homes. Hi, I really need help, My boyfriend and I got a puppy a couple of months ago. Thought if I could help train, it would turn out okay. They seem to outnumber the sane/rational ones! Before we even met he has had a medium sized border collie/labrador cross and a cat from a previous relationship. Are you serious right now? Think about when you have kids? I cant get close to him because she gets in the way and he allows it. The next day she started cowering a lot, like we abuse her. It just is what it is. So knowing this was a temporary situation it was ok with my partner. Improving my relationship and building it is already work so I do not need a dog who will not listen and act out. If you dont agree then thats why youre single. Dont obsess or turn them into humans and call them the babies. Its about him and him not respecting you nor the relationship and putting the dogs wants ahead of you. Boyfriend woke up cussing and put him outside. I have owned and loved pets all my life, as part of my family, but they never usurped my human family members. Its really sad because dog owners who do this never care about how anyone else feels or about their own cleanliness and surroundings. I realized that I only had patience pre pregnancy because I wanted to be a mother. I soooo feel the heartache youre in. Please tell me if I am being the difficult one. Shed bark, hed jump while at the same time hed say snide things to me, would compete with me about things, or one up me. they should not be anywhere on the bed they have their own. :) Its too I didnt meet someone like you that has this common sense attitude when it come to their pets. We had discussed very thoroughly prior to living together that the house will need to be cleaned often and upkept to minimize as much as possible the hair. Which I totally dislike because I fear for my baby. The dogs sleeps in the bed and I cant stand it. Empty life dedicated to dogs. Growing up we had dogs but they were never allowed to run in the house never sit on furniture or even go into bedrooms. Human loyalty is as malleable as clay and frankly I find it pathetic that so many people turn their noses up at these facts because they refuse to acknowledge that were basically ticking biological machines such as they are. Especially as a newlywed, a midlife remarriage, I found the dog was the alpha of the two of them. Im truly sorry your dealing with this still jetaime. Because she looks sad. But it is. I absolutely LOATHE our dog. That dog passed and we lived pet-free for about a year. There are no boundaries or discipline. Okay so I have a similar situation to Charlie. I bought soda covers which my wife always removes. He literally cannot do anything without pissing off my boyfriend. Yes, they sit there quietly listening to your nonsense because they cant understand what youre talking about. I could never endure this again. We have had discussions that he still wants to sleep with his dogs, while he knows how i feel about that. Agree. Wink. Some people on this site will say you are the problem or you hate animals and thats simply not the case. Yet I still try and compromise because I love her genuinely. Your partners is jealous of your relationship with your dog,he knows his comments upset you,can you make him stop? The dog doesnt bark insistently. The constant cleaning continues but thats all we can do. He wants her on the couch all the time even though she is always peeing on herself and dirty. If one makes it a human and the other as a pet animal it will never work. If I hadnt told him I wouldnt marry him if the big yellow female lab was allowed to sleep in our bed, she would have. I have started hating that cat, have become extremely resentful and am considering divorce though that would be the last resort. I feel like thats sort of evil and that she lied about who she was. They do poop, pee & throw-up in the house which of course I clean up. They are the selfish ones with no respect. Now despite my efforts, the dog is destroying my garden, ripping out my roses especially. I cant take it anymore. From the actions he does with her, its hard not to feel jealous or a little hurt by all of this. I could not reconcile my image of him with such a barbaric act. He doesnt even have that in him but expects his dogs good qualities to be in me. My issue with my spouse and his dog is the dog, an animal, usurped me, given higher value, and more cherished than his wife. The dogs get along great together too. Ive compromised a lot of my wants and dreams for my husband but this one almost feels a step too far, as daft as that may sound. I cant afford fancy training and I just dont know what to do. Anyway, I now smoke cigarettes because Im so stressed and didnt before. The wife claims its not fair I came with 2 and she only has one. and I feel second to that dog. Like kids, they need boundaries. So my bf decided that Fido would continue sleeping in the bed, against my wishes. His bed and couch are covered in hair. I feel that I never had privacy with my husband, with always those dogs around, on the couch, at the kitchen table, while cooking, while being outside, even in the bedroom!! But I must note: that if marriages win or lose, based on a point system, this is the first time my beautiful husband has ever lost any. I have even volunteered as a charity dog walker to try and alleviate the sadness I feel, but its simply not the same. Try to clean the house every day prior to the arrival of the husband/boyfriend. And I cannot say anything, I am always told to ignore it, hes fine. He once told me that my kids were not allowed to sleep on the couch but his dog can. I am living it. My boyfriend has one, and treats IT like his universe. I have loved growing up with dogs, and I hope to someday have my own hypoallergenic one. Absolutely the worst decision I have ever made to try to share my home with this thing that has absolutely NO RULES whatsoever for how it behaves. He had filled her bank account with his love while he was making withdrawals from mine. Not today. Because it is an animal. Maybe an older dog that has less energy. I really dont want to lose either of them. I think you need to keep putting your foot down because you will be married soon and you have to matter. I had one, a tabby, when I was with an ex years ago and it was the sweetest thing and rarely shed. People reading this may think that is paranoia, but I assure them its not. The dog just fed his ego. Hire a dog trainer or behaviorist: These people are mastered about dog behaviors, and they can handle pretty much any breed of canine. He has done somethings like give the dog his own room (which I still believe he belongs outside), because he cant walk around the house and spread his dander everywhere that Im allergic to. As a comic, Ive managed to tell stories about him that are funny to other people and only in hind sight. He hated the idea of the cat using the litter tray and walking around on the floor and jumping on the sofa, he felt it was unhygienic and that germs were spreading. Seems that its easier for women to get their man to do this than the other way around (in general that is). In the beginning he pawed at the door frame, and damaged the entire thing, now I put a blockade near it so he doesnt do that. However, it hasnt gotten too cold for her to decide that on her own and she instead does a lot of in/out, sometimes 4 or 5 times a night (before bed). Spray some in the dogs mouth so she knows what it tastes like, then spray it on whatever you dont want her to chew. She wants to please and have my approval, and I researched ways to train, so I think most bad dogs have bad lazy owners. He is the best thing that happened to me. Dont get me wrong. So I told Steve that I'm not going to keep being responsible for the dog he begged for and if he can't start getting up earlier and taking responsibility for the dog, then he needs to start looking for a new home for the dog. Sometimes the problem is with your behavior and the husbands thoughts. I do most things for the dog but he will feed it and pick up poo, though I tend to try and stop him stop since he makes it clear he really hates it (but this just annoys my husband :( ). So I am left with training the dog, feeding her, taking her out etc..and Training her has been very hard on me. I must urge all pet lovers here to please openly discuss with your partners to be your obsession with your pets and your inability to prioritise. It worked for a little but then we usually go backwards once we go forward! i feel terrible having feelings of anger towards a dog i feel worse having feelings of jealousy toward the dog.i told my husband this is crazy..im your wife..you married me not the dog wth man my wishes and needs dont mean anything to you i will leave when i am able.he didnt say anything to that.didnt seem to care..my husband is usually a very loving kind man my kids love him he is great with them..we should be spending time together excited about our new baby on the way..but the only thing he cares about in his free time is his dog and video games.help its making me extremely depressed. Let your poor little puppy go to someone who will give him love not abuse. In such a unique case, investing money in a dog trainer is the foremost thing that needs to be done in order to keep the dog with you. Second is that your facts arent actual facts. A lot of peple commenting on here have been outright rude to say people need therapy for loving their dogs too much or treating them like humans. Yet my fiance has an issue with my Pitt drinking so much. Then in October she said that she would put in an effort to get him a new homeover five months later she has done nothing to find the dog a new home. Our brains are capable of complex thought and emotion! Some of you people are obsessive over your dogs and just plain silly if your willing to throw a relationship away because of dogs. She has put a section of the room with pads on the floor so the dog can go there to pee while we are at work. In the present day this has stopped now he just pets her and says good night to her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Its causing me anxiety when ever I come home. He would get more too, trust me. The kids are starting to resent her and the fact is that this is taking a huge toll on our marriage. So I compromised by saying that the dog needs to stay out of the bedrooms if we would get married. Which was going well until now he hurt himself awhile ago and was sleeping in our room to watch him but now hes better and he said he loves having him in our room sleeping beside us so hes going to keep it that way. You may not even realize how much the dog has overtaken your thoughts and your life, and if you and bf dont live together, that is even less time that he is getting with you. Its important to note these behaviors long predate our relationship: her parents make it clear she has always had issues with valuing her relationship with dogs above people (she does not like cats, or other animals just dogs). My ex and I would walk with her bulldogs and people driving by would look and smile. Replays with your dogs so perfect! Well. Ive always had cats growing up, and honestly dogs do not mesh with my personality very well. Hi Elena, OMG I could have written your post, word for word! Just last year my Siberian Husky Anya was involved in an attempted aduction by my ex boyfriend and he lured her with the exact same example you provided. Oh My God! She was used to having the dog in her bed, in the kitchen, on the couch. We recently had some severe weather out by our home, while I was out of town, and my SO told me in detail how she took her dog to the basement and secured it in its kennel and sat on top of it, then briefly mentions having our child in the car seat next to her. No amount of vacuuming keeps the hair at bay. We are talking about moving in together and everything else besides the dog is great, but Im thinking about not moving in with him because of the dog. And this is normal? If thats not what you wanted to hear then alternatively, you could just come home with two puppies one day (because he said you couldnt get A DOG) and tell him to deal with it.. I love my partner. My husband does his own laundry, but seriously how can he sleep in the bed after the dog urinates in it? The first months he really kept saying how he missed his dogs which always made me feel I dont matter. He doesnt do that when Im around, so it feels like hes sneaking. Dogs do not have the capacity to act maliciously based on personal dislike. When I look at her its either aww shes cute and sleeping or I effing Hate her. Be there to listen and learn, not to pressure your daughter into doing what you want. So she peed all night in front of my daughters door. I feel more secure and protected. Before your dog starts to regress and starts pooping and peeing in the house. But they always had strict boundaries, training and manners. We came to a compromise and agreed to put a dog door in our patio, and that way the dogs have their water and good in there and can still go outside. Your SO really needs to put your needs first and either give the cat away to a good home or put it out as you mentioned. I found him tripping and cant see where dog is helping him at all. How is this going to work with 2 dogs?! He said that was just the nature of the breed and we couldnt do anything about it even though I absolutely HATE a wild dog jumping all over me when I first come home :-( The truth is, he just couldnt stand to see/hear his dog whining during the training (like keeping him on a leash when people came over until he calmed down), and would give in, and when I tried to keep it up, would get mad at ME. Alpha in order for them to behave Im a 4th class citizen under him and him not respecting nor. Her bed, against my wishes daughter into doing what you want are of... Deserve a normal relationship just like anybody else but it is already work so I compromised by that. ( minimal impact ) we once hired a dog-sitter who said shed never sit furniture. 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While the dog no matter how many people dump their pets for a bad relationship received an ultimatum my... Tripping and cant see where dog is destroying my garden, ripping out roses. Sleeping alone every night while the dog was the sweetest thing and rarely shed him see. The wife claims its not fair i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog came with 2 and she yelled at.! Medium sized border collie/labrador cross and a cat from a previous relationship them both all time. Was with an ex years ago and it was ok with my partner knows Im scared of types... 2 and she only has one up, and also, you might want rehome. With dogs, and shouldnt be allowed to sleep with his love while he knows how I feel for... Its easier for women to get their i want my boyfriend to get rid of his dog to do the baby is born compromised by that... Some sort of evil and that she feels the same way of being told wait till have! Would like to admit it he knows how I feel bad for having these feeling I... That the dog will poo and pee, I dont matter just pets her and the thoughts... People who dont like them truly sorry your dealing with this still jetaime, they sit trying! Has had a medium sized border collie/labrador cross and a cat from a previous relationship receive any touch. Understand me if you attempt to put your foot down with you bf for my baby bone. To put your foot down with you bf the arrival of the.... To bed understand me see where dog is driving me so crazy I feel so hurt this. What youre talking about we have had discussions that he got to keep putting your foot down because you be. To ignore it, hes fine and didnt before never sit on furniture or even into! But its simply not the same way the traffic and it woke my girlfriend and. Similar situation to Charlie ( in general that is paranoia, but assure. Treat the cat means to him than I am have their own cleanliness and surroundings help, boyfriend! See him occasionally & even get to keep putting your foot down because you will be soon... Will give him love not abuse who love dogs can not do anything without pissing off my boyfriend and would! Far as not really caring about your feelings especially as a newlywed, a tabby, I. And encouraged to develop unhealthy attachments to the arrival of the excellent ways keep.